One of the best moments to be relished of the 4 years of college life was the VIVA–VOCE (VOCAL EXAMINATION OF COOL IDIOTS LIKE US). These were the confidence booster for lesser mortals like us who are Engg with a difference. Most innovative, stupendously nonsensical and hilarious answers to questions related to unknown topics were most enjoyable. We frequently found ourselves amidst topics of which we knew absolute 00000. Some user friendly teachers who would explain the answer themselves to the question asked.
However my style had been to remain away from the teacher and have minimum eye contact. So that it was unknown that I was also a part of the group. It was better to be quiet than to give ludicrous answer. I loved those satirical remarks of the professor.
The team work as always pays in viva voce. Certain people often tend to disturb the harmony of the team. There are team members of different kinds who can be categorized as follows:
- People who would like to interrupt others in the group mates – you have to protect yourself from such mates as they try to gather maximum attention of the panel, thus diverting the whole panel on themselves. However such assholes prove handy for people like us who always tend to give absurd answers.
- People who blindly follow the principle :
“SILENCE IS THE SOLUTION TO ANY INNER QUEST”
They just like to keep quiet. They are the most ideal group mates who keep calm, cool inside the room. Their feel too dignified to answer a fool. Every question seems to be foolish to them. One has to be cautious of such partners as the question gets diverted to the person beside him.
- People who make gestures dancing their fingers around. Sometimes shows the middle finger in between to the panel. They embellish the vocal examination via their presence. They can simulate the working of a turbine; parts of boiler, even describe stresses with their hands. You require some extraordinary courage to do such rubbish, absurd things in front of teachers. The thing to be noted is that they do these wizardly things with confidence. Of which Khujju remarks:
“KUCH LATPATA RAHA THA WHO HATH SE AISE-AISE”
They are an embodiment of grit & determination of giving persistently wrong explanation. They also give justification to their wrong answers.
- People who speak the questions asked to them only. These are the modest people who do not interrupt unless and until a direst question is asked or if the question gets passed it on them. They are too straight & simple. They are not known for their coruscating wit.
- People with good command over English. They would speak too fast with such an accent that the panel also gets confused and thinks the answer is right. They are an asset to a group as panel rarely asks question to such group as they know they would not be able to understand anything. They bamboozle the examiner with their words.
- People whom teachers knows. Such group is also saved as all tough questions get diverted to him. The group members suffer in terms of marks owing to him. Sometimes the teacher remark: “YOU SHOULD ANSWER THIS, YE TOPPER LIKE QUESTION HAI”.
- People who get tensed each & every time. They would know the precisely detailed description of everything related to topic (if discussed in hostel). But they tend to stammer and inter mingle everything known to them when they speak in front of panel.
- Finally the category of few peoples who visit the teacher after the viva voce. To discuss the question asked to them during the 5 minute period. Such act of flattery rarely helps. As Ravi (Murga) chuckles on BHU by saying: “SAALA DH….. LIYA”.
These are the various kinds of people I have known throughout my B.Tech period. Even I fall in more than one of the categories. There can be a few more categories of people around.
I remember one of the most comic remarks from 1st year V-V. Where the Prof was patiently listening to my explanation for about 5 minutes after which he said when i stopped.
“TUMNE JO ANSWER DIYA WO TOH 100% SE BHI JYADA GALAT THA”.
We would always try to distribute ourselves in such a way that we are farthest from the teacher. As the person in front has to face maximum question. The asking of question from the f"ellow mates as soon as they come out from the hall. The frustration on the teachersby saying
“SAALA !@!@$#$!@%$%, ##!#$#^*&^, #@#%5%$%, ….. hai. Hum jo bole who 100% sahi tha.”
I really enjoyed such moments. Put in your experiences from your memories. I am sure everyone would have faced numerous such incidents (accident) during their Engg. Period.
I would cherish those 15 minute memories for long time.
